The four of us sat quietly looking at each other as Navigator veteran Eugine Burrell asked again, "What are your fears as you approach campus ministry at Bowie State?" I looked to Rob first, and then my roommate Sarah, both of them being extroverts and my finding there unction to speak and outwardly express themselves as an opportunity to either think or slink back into the background. Maybe they won't realize I haven't spoken, I think to myself.
As I predicted the extroverts opened up, and then Brandon shared, and then . . . unfortunately I had to speak. Many fears were exposed: fear of imperfection (the idea that one has to be perfect before ministering to others) coupled with the fear of failure, the fear of being on campus again and not having a selfless focus (many of our college experiences were not others-focused), fear of not having a purpose or being needed, and then finally mine, which was the fear of not being accepted among the students and, thus, not being used by God. I didn't want to share my fears, because I thought I sounded stupid. Coming from Florida, I'm used to more cross-cultural experiences, and I've become accustomed to relating with all different types of people. Coming to an HBCU, I didn't think this black population would accept me as culturally one of their own. This was my area to trust God in.
Would I have faith that God called me here for a specific purpose, to touch the lives of specific young women?
For the most of the week, I bogged myself down with negativity. I would look in the mirror and ask myself, "Why am I here?"
On Wednesday the 26th we officially began our ministry at Bowie State. We helped move in many freshmen and had them fill out surveys. Depending on how they answered, we could follow them up and share the gospel while also connecting with them relationally.
I prayed that morning that I would trust God that He can and will use me on this campus. And I met so many girls, shared the gospel with three of them and hung out with one of those three today.
I am so amazed by the potential relationships God has presented. I met four cool girls, whom I look forward to getting to know. Please join me in praying for them, that God would draw them to himself and that they would cling to Him. That they would seek Him with their whole hearts. As a matter of fact, let's pray that for ourselves and lets pray that God would give us the eyes of faith, that we may walk by faith and not by sight.
